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 mga biro.. pagtyagaan nyo nLang

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AuthorMessage
marj
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Male
Number of posts : 779
Birthday : 1983-10-29
Age : 33
Location : Al Satwa Dubai UAE
Registration date : 2009-01-30

PostSubject: mga biro.. pagtyagaan nyo nLang   Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:31 am

Butas ng Ilong
Kulas: Kung matalino ka talaga, eh bakit dalawa ang butas ng ilong natin?
Pedro: Yun lang, hindi mo pa alam? Siyempre, para makahinga tayo habang nililinis natin ang isa.
---------------------------------------------
Mga Naguusap
Teacher: Class, ano tawag pag may dalawang kano na naguusap?
Class: Nag-iinglisan po.
Teacher: Ano naman ang tawag pag dalawang hindu ang naguusap?
Class: Naghihindutan po.
---------------------------------------------
Hairdo ni Misis
Misis: Mahal nagustuhan mo ba ang bagong hairdo ko?
Mister: Oo.
Msis: Talaga?
Mister: Oo basta't natatakpan ba ang mukha mo eh!
---------------------------------------------
Ang Tenga Pagnawala
TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
TEACHER: baket naman?
BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.
---------------------------------------------
Nagpapasaload pa...
Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....
PEPE: Tol! pasa load namn! 2pesos lang, my katxt lng me.
Tol: cge. w8 lng.
(message sent)
Pepe: Tnx tol! bait mo talaga!
Tol: Gago! wag ka na magtex! sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!
Pepe: k.
---------------------------------------------
Ang Witness...
ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape sayo?
INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
SUSPEK: cge!!!!...mangasar ka pa!!!!
---------------------------------------------
Ngongo na loko...
dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni misis....
Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
MRS: gaggyy!!!! pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan....e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!
---------------------------------------------
Dentist & Lover....
Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other... halata na tayo ng MISTER mo.
Lover: but we love each other!
Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses....ISA NA LNG IPIN MO!
---------------------------------------------
Lovers Quarrel
Misis: Hindi ko na kaya 'to! Araw-araw nalang tayong nag-aaway Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na 'to!
Mister: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito,away roon! Mabuti pa siguro, sumama na ako sa 'yo!
---------------------------------------------
Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE : Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan parin!
---------------------------------------------
Sa isang classroom...
Titser: Class, what is ETHICS?
Pilo: Etiks are smaller than ducks.
Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.
---------------------------------------------
Nung Mayaman pa...
Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!
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marj
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Male
Number of posts : 779
Birthday : 1983-10-29
Age : 33
Location : Al Satwa Dubai UAE
Registration date : 2009-01-30

PostSubject: Re: mga biro.. pagtyagaan nyo nLang   Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:38 am

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ERAp: alam mo mare ung aso ng kapitbahay kong c JDV ang talino...grabeh
PGMA: ha?bakit..? pano mo nasabi..?
ERAP: biruin m..pagtinanong mo ng 1+1..ta2hol..aw.aw..pag
2+2 naman ta2hol ng aw.aw..aw..aw...
PGMA: ay wala pala yan sa aso ng kapitbahay kong si JUN LOZADA..mas matalino un..
ERAP: bakit..?
PGMA: tinanong ko ung aso niya kagabi..1 milyon + 1 milyon........
ERAP: Oh..?anong nagyari..?nakasagot b..?
PGMA: ay!..hanggang ngaun tahol pa rin ng tahol..
---------------------------------------------
MAGSYOTA SA LOOB NG SINEHAN (PART II)
bfnilalamutak ***** ng gf niya)babes..hhmm..sarap..
gf: babes tama n..masakit..
bf: sandali nalang..hhmm..malaki pala babes..at masarap p..hmm.
gf: gago!!..pegsa ko yan sinispsip m...masakit n..
---------------------------------------------
Sa park tumae isang pulubi sa dyaryo, nakita ng guard.
Guard: Bakit ka tumae dyan?
Pulubi: Hindi Ahh?
Guard: Kita ko nasa dyaryo?
Pulubi: Bilis ah, katatae ko lang nasa balita agad?:-)
---------------------------------------------
Isang araw sumakay ng Bus si Lola
Konduktor: Lola psensiya na po kc puno na! Payag po ba kyo ng Patayo?
Lola: Tinamaan ka ng Lintek kung inabot mo lang ang kabataan ko, kahit patuwad payag ako!
---------------------------------------------
Lumindol ng malakas noon. Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic!
Sigaw ng isang lalaki: "Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
Sumagot ang isa rin lalaki: "Tanga! Akinse pa lang ngayon"!
---------------------------------------------
PATIENT: Doc, may problema ako. Tuwing alas OTSO ng umaga, tumatae ako.
DOC: O, anong masama doon? Ang iba nga, hirap tumae sa umaga!
PATIENT: Doc, alas NUEBE po ako nagigising!
---------------------------------------------
GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at
kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan?
Erap: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat
kasi na "Sugarfree."
GMA: Bobo! Banda yun!
---------------------------------------------
Boy, nahulog sa septic tank, sumigaw: SUNOG! SUNOG!
Dumating ang bombero, niligtas sya.
Tinanong "bakit SUNOG ang cnigaw mo?"
Boy: kung TAE ba cnigaw ko, pupunta kayo? TAE! TAE! Ganun!?
---------------------------------------------
LOLO AND GINO KUMAKAIN
LOLO: GINO PAKIABOT NGA UNG KUTSARA
GINO: GINA PO LO..
LOLO: GINO PAKIABOT NGA UNG TINIDOR
GINO: GINA PO LO..
LOLO: GINO PAKIABOT NGA UNG TUBIG..
GINO: GINA PO LO..
LOLO: ANAK NG TIPAKLONG..TIGIL-TIGILAN MO NGA UNG KABAKLAAN M GINO..
---------------------------------------------
KANO (trying to speak tagalog): Megkanow isang kilow mang-gow?
PINOY: One way!
KANO: Megkanow?
PINOY: I sed, one way!
KANO: Ano eybig sabeyhin one way?
PINOY: Isang daan!
---------------------------------------------
Nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita niloloko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim.
BANTAY: Sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
ERAP: Bobo! Seedless ito!
---------------------------------------------
MISTER: (naglalambing, kissing wife's shoulder)Hon, sigi naaaa...
MISIS: (naiirita) Bumabagyo!
MISTER: Ayaw mo yun, eh malamig? Sigii naaa...
MISIS: Ano
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