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 Komiks Joke

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AuthorMessage
elite-1337
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Male
Number of posts : 832
Birthday : 1983-02-08
Age : 33
Location : Olongapo City
Registration date : 2009-01-30

PostSubject: Komiks Joke   Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:51 am

1. Chemistry teacher asked a sexy student, "What are
NITRATES?


The student replied shyly, "Ma'am, sa motel po.


NITRATES are higher than day rates!"




2. Usapan ng dalawang mayabang...


Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko!Tuwing umaga,dala niya ang
dyaryo sa akin.


Diego: Alam ko.


Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?


Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.




3. WHO'S GUILTY?


Wife dreaming in the middle of the night suddenly shouts,
"Quick, my husband is back!"


Man gets up,jumps out the window and realizes,"Damn!I
am the husband!"




4.

Josh: Kumusta ang assignment?


Ricardo: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper ang
ipinasa ko.


Josh: Naku, ako rin! Paano 'yan? Baka isipin nila,
nagkopyahan


tayo?!




5.

Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!


Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?


Toto: Hindi! 'Yan din ang pangarap niya!




6.

Dok: May taning na ang buhay mo.


Juan: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?


Dok: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.


Juan: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru'n?


Dok: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa
mabuhay!




7.

Lito: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?


Joseph: Diyos ko naman! Di mo ba alam 'yun?!


Ang H2O ay water! At ang CO2... cold water.




8.Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa
langit.


Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik
upang sabihin kung may basketbol sa langit.


Naunang namatay si Dado.


Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay
Dado.


"Ikaw ba 'yan, Dado?" usisa ni Rodel.


"Oo naman!" tugon ni Dado.


"Parang hindi totoo!" bulalas ni Rodel.


"O,ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"


Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa
'yo.


Ang maganda, may basketbol doon.


Ang masama...kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"
(ngek!)




9. Usapan ng dalawang bata...


Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo,'yang Pacific Ocean ,


siya ang humukay nun!


Pedrito: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo 'yung Dead Sea ?


Junjun: Oo...


Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!




10.

Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?


Sir: What are my choices?


Stewardess: Yes or No.




11.

Misis: Hindi ko na kaya 'to! Araw-araw na lang tayong
nag-aaway


Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na 'to!


Mister: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito,away roon! Mabuti
pa


siguro, sumama na ako sa 'yo!




12.

Misis: Delayed ako nang one month pero huwag mo munang
ipagsabi.


Nahihiya ako...


Mister: Okey.


Kinabukasan, dumating ang taga-Meralco. ..


Taga-Meralco: Misis, delayed po kayo ng one month.


Misis: Ha? Bakit mo alam?


Taga-Meralco: Nasa record po.


Mister: Bakit Naka-record diyan na delayed ang misis ko?


Taga-Meralco: Kung gusto ninyong mawala sa record, magbayad
kayo!


Mister: Eh kung ayokong magbayad?


Taga-Meralco: Puputulan kayo!


Mister: Eh anong gagamitin ni misis?


Tag-Meralco: Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila.




13. Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...


ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.


DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan pa rin!




14.What is the difference between a girlfriend,a call girl and
a wife?


Sagot: Post paid, pre paid, unlimited.




15.Sa isang classroom...


Titser: Class, what is ETHICS?


Pilo: Etiks are smaller than ducks.


Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.




16.Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami,nagkakamay kaming kumain.


Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.


Pedro: Baligtad yata?


Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!




17.Anak: Itay, nagpapatanong si ma'am kung ano raw ang
propesyon mo.


Itay: Sabihin mo, cardiologist.


Anak: Ano po ba ang cardiologist, Itay?


Itay: 'Yung tagaayos ng radio sa car!




18.Umuwi si mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya ang kanyang
misis na may katalik na lalaki sa kama ...


Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!


Mister: Sino 'yang katabi mo?


Misis: GRABE KA! HUWAG MONG IBAHIN ANG USAPAN!




19. Rodrigo: Bakit bad trip ka?


Harry: Nagtampo sa 'kin ang utol ko.


Rodrigo: Bakit naman?


Harry: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday niya.


Rodrigo: 'Yun lang? Anong masama ru'n?


Harry: Ang masama ru'n... twins kami! Twins!




20.Mom: Baby,you're good in math. Now,I'm going to ask you a
question.


Baby: Sure, mom.


Mom: If your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4
apples,


what's your answer?


Baby: Thank you po!




21. Pare1: Pare, parang malalim ang iniisip mo!


Pare2: Nanaginip ako kagabi


kasama ko raw ang 50 contestants ng Ms.Universe.


Pare1: Swerte mo! Anong problema mo?


Pare2: Pare ... ako ang nanalo!




22.Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder.


Driver screams: WAAAAAHHHHHH! !!!


Passenger: Bakit ka sumigaw?


Driver: Sorry, bossing, bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years
po kasi ako driver ng funenaria.




23.Isang panget na babae, hinoholdap:


Holdaper: Holdap ito! Akin na ang gamit mo!


Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!


Holdaper: Anong rape? Holdap nga 'to, eh!


Babae: Wala lang! Nagsusuggest lang...




24.Bobo: Pare, hulaan mo ang ugali ko. Nagsisimula sa letter A.


Pare: Approachable?


Bobo: Mali
.


Pare: Amiable?


Bobo: Mali
pa rin.


Pare: O sige, siret na!


Bobo: ANEST!




25.Girl: Doc, pacheck-up po


Doc: Sige, hubad ka na ng panty at bra tapos higa ka.


Girl: Hindi po ako. Itong lola ko po.


Doc: Sige lola, hinga na lang po nang malalim




26.Farmer: Lalake na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na!
Ano ang


balak mong itanim sa sakahan mo, anak?


Anak: Flowers, papa! Maraming-maraming flowers! Pretty, di
ba?!


AYYY mamae pala!




Tama na, tapos na, Balik na kayo sa trabaho - bukas naman.
HE He HE

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vinzce
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Number of posts : 1336
Birthday : 1983-02-22
Age : 33
Location : Olongapo City, Philippines
Registration date : 2009-01-29

PostSubject: Re: Komiks Joke   Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:50 pm

sobrang tawa more bro.. more.. sobrang tawa

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gossip_XoXo
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Age : 33
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PostSubject: Re: Komiks Joke   Thu Jun 11, 2009 1:57 am

sabi ko n nga b si tano n nmn to haha lol!

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Age : 33
Location : Olongapo City
Registration date : 2009-01-30

PostSubject: Re: Komiks Joke   Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:39 am

slamat po... blushing pra mwala ung stress nnyo,jejeje big grin

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