1. Yaya buys food at McDo.
Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?”
Yaya: “Puwede sa table?”
2. Kid: “Yaya look, boats!”
Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.”
Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?”
Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”
3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office.
Doc: “Bottlefed?”
Woman: “Breastfed po.” (Doctors squeezes woman’s breasts
repeatedly)
Doc: “Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.”
Woman: “Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!”
4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten. She
stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor: “Manong, ang baho ng itlog
niyo!”
5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star. Our yaya
came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer kaya bumili nalang po ako ng
dalawang Star!”
6. Yaya: “Huhuhu…”
Ate: “O, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
Ate: “Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?”
Yaya: “Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.”
Ate: “O, bakit ka di makatulog?”
Yaya: “Kasi po may pinoproblema ako…”
Ate: “Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
7. (Earlier)
Mom: “Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!”
(Later) Son: “Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?”
Yaya: “Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!”
8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform. I angrily
asked her, “Paano mo naman nasunog to?” She answered: “Secret!”
9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out: “Ang pangit
naman, happy ending!”
10. Sir: “Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!”
Yaya: “Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!”
11. Mom: “Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!”
Yaya: “Ano po lulutuin ko?”
Mom: “It’s up to you.”
(During dinner) Mom: “Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?”
Yaya: “Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, ‘kitsup tuyo’!”
12. Our neighbor’s yaya: “Junjun, chew your mouth!”
13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: “Miss isang Coke in can at
isang Sprite na Coke in can…”
14. SIR: “Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I
need cash!”
INDAY: “Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?”
SIR: “Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!”
INDAY: “Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin…kapkeyk…”
15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located. She
answered: “Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?”
16. “O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!”
Ate: “Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong
ligs!”
17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice
bottle. Sabi namin: “Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?”
Yaya: “Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, ‘concentrate’…”
18. Neighbor’s yaya telling her ward to climb down the
stairs: “Down to earth! Down to earth!”
19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said, “Ma’am, ang kunin niyo yung
Ilokano ang salita ha!”
20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya’s son. So one
day I was reviewing him: “The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun. Ano ang
katabi ng Mercury?” His mom, our yaya, answered: “Parang Watson’s yata…”
21. Sir: “Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?”
Yaya: “Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!”
Sir: “Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?”
Yaya: “Gunting, kuya! Gunting!”
22. Ivan – Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”
Driver: “Ikaw lang?”
Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”
23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya) Kuya: “Yaya…”
Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”
Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”
Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”
24. Kid: “Yaya, spell orange?”
Yaya: “Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?”
25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired: “Suwerte po kayo, ako
ang napili niyo. At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!”
26. Yaya to my brother: “Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?”
Bro: “Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng
kilikili!”
27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises): “Ma’am,
hindi na po ako mangangako ulit…promise!”
28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a
kapre in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom. Her reason for
turning down the offer to be his queen? “Kapre yun ma’am, malaki ang kwan nun!
Wag na tuy!”
29. AMO: “Bakit namatay ang aso?”
MAID: “Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.”
AMO: “Nakamamatay ba yun?”
MAID: “Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine
patay na.”
30. Yaya picking up the phone saying: “ Hilo ?” We noticed that she was holding the
handset ng baligtad. We told her, “Yaya, baliktad!” Then Yaya said: “Lohi?”
Tama na, tapos na, Balik na kayo sa trabaho - bukas naman
nmn ulit…. HE He HE